


Final Days

by orphan_account



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Depression, Im sorry this is an attempt at writing human emotion, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Toxic Gas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: --Final Days--James is known as a lunatic.Gus has a suspicion about what he might do to himself.--------I'm sorry, I'm trying to write human emotion.I'm so sorry if it's bad of cringy.I’m also sorry I didn’t write sooner, I’ve been extremely sick latelyEnjoy? :)





	Final Days

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to write human emotions.  
> I'm so sorry if it's bad, I've been very sick and wasn't able to write properly.  
> I decided to try writing something new once I got better.
> 
>  
> 
> Please tell me about any spelling or grammar mistakes, or any comments you may have.  
> Enjoy? :)

Rainbow was made of the best of the best. The organization as made to fight a rising terrorist threat, and they did their jobs well. They saw the horrors beyond what many could imagine. They saw children killed by their parents so that they would not be taken by the terrorists. They saw families torn apart and buildings burned to the ground, charred bodies laid in the ruins. But, the thing that most affected any member of Rainbow, was their failures. Knowing they could have saved a human life, and yet failed.  
It weighed heavy on all of their hearts, even the typically upbeat members of Rainbow sometimes cried over their failures. When it came down to the wire when there was only a split-second decision between the lives of the members of Rainbow and the lives of a civilian, any of them would be willing to sacrifice themselves for another life.  
If you asked any experienced member of Rainbow what it was like to see a soldier die in their arms, they would all tell you something similar, “In a man’s final moments you can see the life flash through his eyes, and if he is in pain, he’ll cry out for his mother. And even if you’ve never met them before, at that moment you’ll feel a kinship with him that is unmatched.”  
Each member of Rainbow had secrets and things that made them break down, for some it was something simple like a song or a certain photo. For others, it was a fear, a fear of deep water or fear of small spaces. And yet for others, it was more of an abstract concept or personal flaw. The people who watched them knock down doors and break through windows would never guess each members weakness. The people they served tend to forget that they where people as well, but they knew that when they decide to serve as members of the most elite fighting force in the world that it would be a thankless job.  
After a particularly difficult mission, it was a tradition, more like an obligation really, in Rainbow to go see Doc. Whether it be to check for injuries that had been missed before or to simply talk, every single Rainbow member went, unless they were confined to a hospital bed.  
In no particular order, the members of Rainbow shuffled to the underground section of the base. Their shoulders were slumped and heads were held low. They looked like scolded children ashamed of their actions. Slowly but surely over the course of days, each member spoke to the doctor or their teammates. No one could blame then, the mission they had been sent of was an appalling affair. Children strapped with explosives sent bolting towards them. Women and children locked in basements and in closets, starving and afraid. Men that shot their comrades that they saw where detained by Rainbow just to keep information from them. It truly was a horrific and chaotic experience. 

 

But, if there was one member of Rainbow that thrived in chaos and the disorder of battle it was James. The SAS member has quite the personality and reputation. He was disjointed and had an air around him that suggested a lack of proper morals. He was invisible on the battlefield, despite the strange way his mind seemed to work, even the strange SAS operator had limits. And this specific mission triggered something deep inside him.  
The doctor sitting in his office filling out papers sighed, he had just finished a very hard conversation with one of his younger coworkers. He could see how deeply everyone was affected by the recent mission. He could see the sadness in his fellow operator's eyes when discussing the events of the cruel experience. He closed his eyes as he held his head in his hands, he could still see the children who were killed because of some misguided dedication to a cause. As he began to sort through the many files and various papers on his desk he noticed something. It was unlike Dr. Kateb to not notice something, however, as he held that last operators file in his hands he knew he made a mistake. He had read James’s file before, the man was a lunatic but he was smart too. Dr. Kateb knew about his past and some of his family life, but the SAS operator was never very open to anyone.  
When they were returning from the mission, the doctor could see something was off about James. The usually lively man was shivering slightly and his eye kept darting around the helicopter, but the Dr. had been too preoccupied with treating a wounded Kapkan that he had dismissed it. Dr. Kateb had seen the many scars on James Body from the many times he had been shot, stabbed or burned. A small collection of scars and burns grabbed the Doctors attention when he first performed a health physical of all the members of Rainbow. The collection was on James’s left hip, a small collection of organized X’s. They were scarred over and obviously old. When the doctor had asked James about the patch of scars, James had given his a look of utter hate, with a look in his eye that said, “don't ever ask about those again unless you want me to punch you in the face”. And so Dr. Kateb had not asked again, he could tell the scars where self-inflicted. Alongside some of the various chemical burns all over the Brits body.  
The Doctor had not told anyone else about the self-inflicted wounds he had seen on his fellow operator, but whenever he had to treat James for an injury he always made sure to check the Brit for more self-inflicted wounds. Dr. Kateb could sense the Brits dislike of his medical check-ups as the doctor could see his scars. Though true to their unspoken agreement, Doc never spoke about the scars or burns again. He could see new marks every time he saw James, but he knew no amount of talk would convince the man to stop. James was a lunatic after all.  
The Dr. flipped through James’s file, he had read it before. Dr. Kateb had seen James’s gas in action, it was a horrific affair. No one besides Smoke himself knew what was in the gas, but everyone in Rainbow had seen what happened to the people who ingested it. They would begin to cough blood, they would choke on their own fluid-filled lungs, their skin blistering and eyes bulging out of their sockets. It looked like a horrible way to go. 

Sorting the final papers on his desk, Doc stood and stretched his back. He knew he had to go find James, he just hoped the man had not hurt himself too badly. He knew he could always call Monty or Sledge to help him restrain the Brit, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to do that. As Doc emerged from the many underground hallways of the base he could see it was close to sunset, usually, the operators of Rainbow would still be out and roaming about. But it seemed as if everyone decided to retire to bed before the sun went down.  
Dr. Kateb knew here James would most likely be, the Brit spent a majority of his time in a lab closed off from the majority of the facility. It was used to handle containment and disposal of biological threats, but Smoke converted the basement of the facility into his own personal laboratory. The Brit could not test his gas everywhere else in the base, so he spent his time in the basement of the building, testing and improving his toxins. The Doctor descended the stairs of the facility down to the basement lab, he was faced with a steel door with a large plastic window and various warnings displayed on it. Next to the door hung a variety of hazmat suits and gas masks. Throwing on one of the protective suits on and quickly strapping one of the assorted masks around his face, Doc unlatched the door stepping into the lab. It was reasonably clean, with various desks and shelves storing a wide variety of chemicals haphazardly balanced. The Dr. could almost immediately tell something was off, instead of the usual obnoxious music blaring throughout the lab, it was almost near silent, save for the ticking and buzzing of machines.  
Making his way through the maze of tables and machines, the doctor could see sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling obscuring the back corner of the laboratory. As he made his way through the sheets of plastic arranged in a maze-like fashion he could see orangeish gas begin to seep and curl from under the plastic engulfing the smooth floor. The further Doc made his way into the maze the thicker the gas got, soon tinting the air around him orange. He was glad he had put on one of the hazmats suits, as the gas would have burned his skin. Finally, he could see an open space bigger than the hallways made by the hanging plastic. The space was up against one of the basements walls, a desk pushed up against the wall only held a few chemicals in vials and jars, alongside a few other pieces of scientific equipment.  
However, the thing that caught the Doctors attention immediate was the vast amount of papers and notebooks scattered on the floor of the space. They were all covered in messy writings, near unreadable except for the person who wrote them. Luckily for the doctor, the author was sitting in an office chair not 5 meters away from him. He could tell it was James, if not for the iconic gas mask the brit wore, then the way he behaved when surrounded by deadly chemicals. While the doctor felt uncomfortable surrounded by the heavy orange mist, the Brit looked completely at ease leaning back in his chair staring at the ceiling. Though there was still something off about him, whether it be the fact the typically extremely observant operator hadn’t appeared to noticed Doc’s presents yet or the pistol loosely held in his gloved hand.  
As the Doctor began to take a step towards the Operator the brits head snapped towards him. 

“Hey Gus, looks like you came to find me, huh?” James spoke, gesturing towards the Doctor with the pistol. The doctor tensed up as the pistol was pointed in his direction.  
“James, please put down the pistol” Doc ordered, he was not one it be harsh, but the longer he stayed in this basement, the longer he felt that James was more unhinged than usual. The Birt tilted his head at the doctor's response.  
“Nah. See Gus, your the only one in this place whose seen what I do to myself. I really don't like that.” The Brit emphasized his words by swiftly standing from the chair, the pistol still held at his side. “And, well, after the mission where I had to shoot kids. I really don't want you to see what I’ve done.” The brit slowly walked towards the doctor.  
Gustave had never seen the man like this, and as the man slowly got closer, the doctor could see blood staining his uniform. It covers the inside of his forearms and his hips. The doctor stepped back from the brit approaching him.  
“James, give me the pistol and follow me so we can clean your wounds.” The doctor repeated, now holding out his hand. Hoping the Brit would comply. Now less than 2 meters apart, the two faced off. A battle of wills. The air was thick as James raised the pistol up towards Docs face. Doc tried to make eye contact with the man as he looked straight down the barrel of the pistol. But, James dropped the pistol into Doc’s hand after a brief second where it felt like the world had frozen. As Doc quickly threw the pistol away from the two of them, James chuckled. His shouldered slumped down and his head hung low. He raised his hands to the gas mask keeping him from ingesting the toxic gas surrounding them.  
Gustave related to late what James was doing. With a fluid motion, the Brit released the straps on the gas mask, pulling it off his face. He took a deep inhale of the orange gas surrounding them. As Gus rushed forward to grab the mask dropped from his fellow operator's hands, James laughed. The gas made his eyes water and his skin burn. It felt as if his insides were on fire. He could see Gus quickly grab the mask he dropped. He saw the edges of his vision blur and the pain of the toxins absorbing into his lungs was too much. He fell to the floor of the basement, still laughing. His face was wet with tears and he could taste blood. Black overtook his vision, the last thing he saw was Doc forcing the mask back over his face. 

The frantic knocking on the doors of the SAS quarters was not welcomed by the inhabitants. All of them asleep in their beds. But when the knocking persisted. Mark, sighed heavily, the first of the three to get up to answer the door, his brain subconsciously registered that James was not in his bed. Shuffling to the door, he unlocked it opening it to a frantic Doc, who grabbed his arm.  
“We must Hurry, James has done something horrible”, The doctor spoke, slightly out of breath as he began to pull the dashed the Brit alongside him to the medical quarters. Only tripping over his feet twice, Mark ran alongside the Doctor to one of the medical wards. He rarely saw the Doctor this panicked, his hair messy and his eyes were red. Mark also observed that he was shaking slightly. Pushing open the white doors of the medical wing and rushing one of the doors along the hallway.

The doctor quickly escorted him inside the room, and there he saw his teammate. His face was covered with an oxygen mask, but from what mark could see it was red with burns and in some places his skin looked as if it had bubbled up. His short hair was messy and he was haphazardly laid on the hospital bed. Mark could see the blood covering his arms and hips that were quickly bandaged. Doc rushed over to his bedside, gesturing for Mark to come to help him.  
“Help me bandaged him up, grab those scissors.” Gustave pointed to the scissors on the table next to Mark, who quickly grabbed them. They began to stip off James’s uniform. The blood made it sticky as they cut it off his arms. Mark glanced at his friends face as he saw the vast amount of slashes and scars on the unconscious man's forearms. They look self-inflicted. Stepping out of his trance, Mark helped Gus clean and wrap the bloodied forearms. He could think at the moments, the steady beeping of the heart monitor clouded his thoughts and the raspy breaths of his teammate, his friend. The wounds on his arms were fresh, but as they moved down to bandage the wounds on his teammate's thighs and hips, Mark could see the new and old blemishes. As he helped the Doctor clean the slashes, he felt a deep sadness for his teammate.  
“He is extremely lucky he did accidentally hit a major artery. He has already lost to much blood.” The Doctor stated glancing up to see Mark staring down at his unconscious teammate, The young Brit looked truly sad. The doctor had seen Mark sad a few times, he had seen him afraid. But he had never seen his young teammate this utterly saddened before. Pausing, Gustave reached a hand out, placing it on Marks' shoulder.  
“He’s going to be okay, he won't bleed out. The real problem is the gas he inhaled.” Mark’s head snapped up to the Doctor, he also knew the utterly devastating effects of James’s concoction of chemicals. “I know he never told anyone what was in the Gas, but I was hoping you, being the prodigy you are, could at least try to find out the compression so I can properly treat the effects,” Gus asked focusing his attention back to the operator between them. There was a slight pause before Mark responded.  
“I can try.”  
“Good, once we finish I would suggest getting Mike and Seamus to inform them of the situation, and then you can go down to James’s lab and get to work,” Gus said, before starting to wrap James's thighs with bandages.  
Gustave sighed in relief once they had finished wrapping James’s wounds, he knew that James would not be well once he woke up. His lungs would most likely be damaged, someone would have to watch him. Looking up to Mark, Gus could see the younger brit was extremely worried about his teammate. Gus knew the SAS where a tightknit family, James, and Mark were like brothers. Knowing Mark could handle watching James for a short time, Doc decided he would rush to get Seamus and Mike.  
Though he did have to do one last thing before he forgot, along the side of the hospital bed were thick leather straps, used to keep one fixed in place. Once he began to secure one of the straps around James’s wrist, Mark followed suit.  
Now James had leather straps around his wrist and ankles, alongside one stretching over his chest.  
“I’ll go get Seamus and Mike, just watch him if he wakes up to make sure he doesn't hurt himself,” Gus said, looking towards Mark before heading towards the door to retrieve the remaining members of the SAS. But before he could make it to the door he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned back to face Mark, a moment of silence passed in between then before Mark spoke,  
“...Thanks for saving ‘im.” The taller operator had a genuine look of thanks as he locked eyes with the doctor.  
“Of course.” Gus smiled. Mark nodded before spinning on his heel to go back to James’s bedside. Only pausing for a few seconds before briskly walking out of the medical wing Gus let his shoulder relax, they were only the way to save James.

Both Mike and Seamus were extremely irritable after they once again heard the brisk knocking at the door of their quarters, though they did note it was less frantic this time. Neither of them realized Mark had gone, only registering that the knocking had stopped the first time. Seamus groaned, heaving himself out of bed to answer the door. As he pulled it open with was perhaps to much force, he was faced with Gustave. His face immediately softened slightly, annoyance replaced with worry.  
“I need you and Mike to come with me. James is in the medical wing, and I need to talk to you both, Mark is looking after him.” Gus said looking up to the tall Scotsman.  
“I’ll go get ‘im, be back in a sec.”  
Rubbing his eyes, Seamus mumbled. Gus nodded, waiting for him to get the old Brit. Seamus was still dressed in his sleep clothes, but trudging to Mike’s room he knocked on the door, then proceeded to open it to the dismay of the operator inside.  
“Get up old man, we need to go with Gus.”  
Mike groaned, swearing as Seamus shook his shoulder. Mumbling something along the lines of, “I’m up I’m up you fuckin muppet”. He looked annoyedly at Seamus as he walked with his to meet Gus who was waiting at their door. Mike acknowledged Gus before the three of them walked quickly to the medical wing.  
“What did Jamie do this time?” Mike asked, is one of the oldest members of Rainbow he had seen his fair share of shenanigans, but he knew James was a whole nother ballpark.  
“You’ll see the extent of it when we get there, but he...” Gus paused looking down at the ground before continuing, “he tried to kill himself. Mark is watching him right now.”  
Both Seamus and Mike quickened their pace when they heard this, both now looking highly concerned. It was not long until they saw Jamie, the short Brit was still unconscious with mark sitting at his side and the oxygen mask still fitted around his face. His body was covered with a blanket, courtesy of Mark. The blanket hid the bandages from view, but the Brits face still was burned and blistering from the brief exposure to the Gas. The two SAS members joined Mark at Jamie’s bedside, Mark was simply staying at his fellow Brit’s side, only briefly glancing up at his two fellow SAS members who had just joined him. While Gus stayed back letting the operators collect themselves. 

After a few moments, Mike spoke breaking the silence.  
“What happened?” While he said this his eye slide to the doctor. Sighing, the tired Doctor explained.  
“James failed to come to see me after the mission, which you all know is standard. I suspected something was wrong, I had known about Jamie's problem-” Releasing neither of the other SAS members had seen Jamie’s arms, Doc quickly walked to Jamie’s bedside and pulled down the blanket to exposes the unconscious operators bandaged arms. Letting the two new operators look over their brother's arms, Doc continued his recounting of the night's events.  
Sadness enveloped the small medical room as Gus finished recounting the events of the evening, they all turned sadly upon the man laying innocently in the bed next to them. There was a gnawing sadness that buried itself in chests of the men in the room. None of them knew how they would have ever carried on without their lunatic of a brother.


End file.
